


I Am A Mess Around You

by Miss_Bennet



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, But it gets better I promise, M/M, Pining, Smut, also sort of lowkey Jily, but also smut, but they're adorable, my babies are desperate, not so angsty this time, oh did I say PINING already because omg, remus is a bit miserable, there's cuteness, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:41:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7387300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Bennet/pseuds/Miss_Bennet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern Setting AU - Remus finds out that a hot, beautiful man just moved into his building. But for some reason, every time they meet a disaster strikes and Remus makes a complete fool of himself. Why can't he act like a sensible person around this handsome young man?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am A Mess Around You

**Author's Note:**

> The rating is for adult language and smut.  
> I've had so much fun writing this.  
> Also, this is for Steph, who asked for a roommates/neighbors AU, and this is what I came up with. Thank you for making me write this, you're awesome <3

Remus Lupin was convinced that it was the happiest day of his life. He took a different route home that day, and he stumbled upon an old bookshop he hadn’t seen before. He decided to go inside, just for a quick look around. It turned out that the bookshop was about to go out of business, so they had a huge sale with incredible prices. He’d never seen books – wonderful, valuable books – being sold for so cheap. It almost felt like stealing.  
Of course he couldn’t stop himself, so he bought as many books as he could carry. The idea turned out to be not so bright after all. Since he was on his way back from work, he was tired and hungry. Carrying a pile of books, even though he wasn’t that far away from his building, was torture.

When he finally arrived, he found himself facing another problem – he couldn’t open the door. There was no way for him to hold all of his books in one hand, so he decided to carefully place them on the floor for a moment, just so he could open the door. Before he had the chance to do that, however, a voice spoke behind him and made him jump.  
“Need some help with that?”  
Remus spilled the books to the ground with a loud noise that made him wince. He turned around to look at the person who addressed him.

He clearly didn’t expect to see the beautiful, magnificent man that stood before him. He was tall and tan, with long locks of messy black hair, a pair of beautiful round eyes that seemed to glance over him with amusement, and a smile that made Remus’ knees weak. He was also wearing a black leather jacket and extremely tight jeans, and Remus noticed a tattoo on the side of his neck, though he didn’t get to see exactly what it was.

“Sorry,” said the stranger, “didn’t mean to startle you. You seemed to be in need of some help.”  
“Oh, it’s okay,” Remus muttered as he kneeled down to gather his books. It was almost painful to know that they had to hit the floor so hard, some of them were rather old and delicate.  
The stranger then gathered a few books as well and placed them on top of the pile in Remus’ hands. He then opened the door for the both of them and they entered the building.  
  
“Do you live here?” Remus asked, since he’d never seen the man around before.  
“I moved in about a week ago. Didn’t get to meet the neighbors yet. I’m Sirius, by the way.”  
“Oh, I’m Remus. Thanks for the help.”  
“You’re welcome,” Sirius flashed another smile at him as they walked into the lift, “so you like books, huh?”  
“Clearly,” Remus could feel his face turning red. Great, now Sirius is going to remember him as that nerd with the pile of books who couldn’t even open the door by himself. Sirius’ small chuckle only made him feel worse.  
The lift stopped and Sirius walked out. “Nice to meet you, Remus,” he said as he walked away.  
“You too,” Remus replied, not entirely sure that Sirius even heard him.

 _This was a disaster_ , he thought as he finally entered his apartment and dropped the books on the couch. Little did he know that the disaster was yet to come, and that this was merely a small, innocent encounter.

* * *

 About a week later, Remus was convinced that he was having the worst day of his life. From the moment he woke up, it was as if the whole world was against him. First his alarm clock decided to malfunction, causing him to be late to work. Being the anxious perfectionist that he is, it was the worst way to start the day for him. Remus was never late for work. If anything, he always made sure to be way too early, just in case.

As a result, he didn’t have any breakfast and didn’t notice that his shirt was inside out. For some reason, nobody bothered to point that out until halfway through the day, when it was time for lunch. Remus went to the bathroom to fix his shirt, but when he took it off it got caught in the toilet paper stand and it ripped. It was only a small slash on the back, but since it was adding to the pile of things that made this day unbearable, it made Remus wish to disappear from the face of the earth.

Then, on his way home he tripped and fell, hitting his knee hard on the pavement and leaving a small hole in his trousers. This frustrated him - it was the second time he ripped his clothes on that same day! He decided to buy himself a cup of coffee to calm down a little, yet he managed to spill it on himself moments before entering his building. Not surprisingly, when he fished out his keys and dropped them to the floor a few moments later, it was the last straw.

“Come on!” he said out loud, “keep it together, this is ridiculous!”  
He bent down to pick up his keys, and as he got back up he noticed someone standing by the lift. Of course, it had to be Sirius.  
When he noticed Sirius’ gaze on him, he suddenly felt very aware of the way he looked – the crazy man with the ripped shirt and trousers, his knee visibly bleeding, the front of his shirt stained with coffee. And to top it all off he was talking to himself. Brilliant.  
“Rough day?” Sirius asked as they walked into the lift.  
“Clearly,” was all Remus could say.

Sirius said nothing more until the lift came to a stop and he walked out. “It was nice to see you, Remus,” he said. This time Remus peeked out a little, curious to see which apartment Sirius lived in. 3C, he noted. Then Sirius looked back at him, and Remus realized he was leaning out of the lift and staring at him. “Um, you too,” he said and stepped back, letting the lift doors shut close.

Worst. Day. Ever.

* * *

 A couple of months had passed, and Remus began to believe that perhaps there was some higher power that personally tried to make him miserable. Every single time he saw Sirius, something hideous and unfortunate had to happen to him. He kept making a fool of himself, over and over again. Each time made him more convinced that Sirius thought he was a lunatic. Which was unfortunate, because he thought that Sirius was the hottest person in the universe. 

Sometimes Remus had very nice days. Sometimes he even thought that he looked rather attractive – when he had a good hair day, or he was wearing his favorite jeans that fit him just right. But of course, on those days, Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Remus developed quite an obsession, spending half an hour in front of the mirror to make sure he looked nice even if he was just taking out the trash, being aware of everything he did or said just in case Sirius would somehow pop out of nowhere to see it. But none of it helped, he had the worst luck.

One day, Lily came over and they decided to go out to eat. As they walked into the lift, Lily kept filling him in with the hot gossip of the day.  
“So I’m pretty sure they’re not dating anymore,” she said, “oh! And Marlene bought a motorcycle. How cool is that?”  
Remus was horrified. He shook his head in disapproval as they walked out of the lift. “Cool? What’s cool about it? Promise me you’re not going to let her give you a ride.”  
Lily laughed as he opened the door for her and they walked out. “Why not? It’s not that dangerous. She’s a responsible person.”  
Remus stopped and turned to look her in the eye.

“Lily, listen to me,” he said very seriously, “Motorcycles are not cool. Anyone who’s dumb enough to buy a motorcycle is insane, and has a death wish. It’s for people who just like to wear a leather jacket and have their hair all ruffled to look cool and effortless, but people like that have nothing in their brain! I love Marlene, okay? She’s great. But if she wants to get herself killed on that vehicle of doom, let her die alone!”  
The moment Remus turned to keep walking he noticed Sirius standing right in front of him. And _of course_ , he had to be wearing his leather jacket and have his motorcycle helmet under his arm. And OF FUCKING COURSE he had to have a look on his face that clearly meant he heard everything and now Remus seemed like a complete wanker.

Remus froze, his face reddening at once.  
“Well,” said Sirius as he walked past them, “I’ll take that to heart. Nice to see you, Remus.”  
The moment he walked inside and the door closed behind him, Remus buried his face in his hands and grunted loudly with frustration.  
“What was that about?” Lily asked curiously.

And so Remus told her about every instance of terrible luck he had around Sirius. She tried very hard not to laugh, but she just couldn’t help it. The stories were hilarious, and she roared with laughter every time he described Sirius’ reaction.  
“And now,” he concluded, “now this. I literally ranted about motorcycles while he was standing there, with his motorcycle helmet, looking as if he couldn’t be more offended. What is wrong with me? What have I done to deserve this?”  
“Come on, you’re exaggerating.”  
“I’m really not! How can you explain all of these coincidences?”  
“Well, he’s quite hot,” Lily admitted, “what if you just get nervous around him and your clumsiness level goes up a notch?”  
“Great,” Remus sighed, “now you think he’s hot too. Oh what the hell, he’s probably straight anyway. You can go ahead and have him.”  
“No way,” Lily smiled, “I can’t do that to you, he’s clearly your future husband.”  
Remus gave her a very cynical look and she started laughing again.

* * *

For the next week or so, Remus tried to avoid Sirius. He didn’t want to see him, because he couldn’t even look him in the eye after their last interaction. But whatever unnatural force had a personal vendetta against his arse had other plans.

Remus was back from work and he entered the building with way too many thoughts on his mind, so he didn’t even notice when Sirius came up to stand beside him, waiting for the lift. Which is why he almost had a heart attack when Sirius addressed him.  
“Remus, I wanted to ask you something.”  
Remus stared at him, mortified by the thought of what he could possible want to ask. “Yes?” he said quietly.  
“Well, you clearly like books,” Sirius offered a smile, “and I happen to have a whole pile of old, probably valuable books I don’t need. I thought about donating them, but maybe you’d like to have a look? Take some of them?”  
Remus blinked. “You – oh. Oh, okay, sure. I’d love to.”  
Sirius nodded at that as they walked into the lift. “Great,” he said, “I was hoping you’d say that.”  
The lift stopped at Sirius’ usual stop, and as he walked out of it, he turned around to Remus. “Are you coming?” he asked. Remus was a little taken aback.  
“What, _now_?”  
“Yes,” said Sirius, “unless you’re busy..?”  
“No, no. I can… Sure.” Remus got out of the lift and followed Sirius a little awkwardly.

He watched as Sirius took out his keys and unlocked the door. Then they walked in. “Sorry about the mess,” said Sirius, “I wasn’t really planning on having any guests. Would you like something to drink?”  
“Oh, no, thank you,” said Remus politely. He couldn’t help but look around in awe. He expected Sirius to be messy and chaotic. He imagined that the interior of his apartment would reflect that – he almost expected it to look as if there was always a party going on inside. But it was rather neat, with quite a few beautiful art pieces on the walls and expensive furniture.  
Sirius led him to the small coffee table in the living room, where a pile of old books seemed to be waiting for Remus.

“So there it is,” Sirius gestured at the pile, “just choose whatever you like. You can take all of them for all I care, I don’t want them.”  
Remus didn’t need any more convincing. He went through the pile rather quickly, examining the books with enthusiasm. Some of them were on his wishlist, which made him smile like a huge dork. “Where did you get these?” he asked, holding up a few books he knew were impossible to find, “they’re priceless!”

“Um,” Sirius took a seat on the sofa, looking a bit uncomfortable at the question, “they’re not really mine, so to speak.”  
Remus froze. “You didn’t… Steal them, did you?”  
“No! Of course not!” Sirius seemed a little offended, “it’s not stealing if it belongs to your family, right?”  
Remus felt like it was a touchy subject, but he couldn’t help it. “Did your family know that you’re taking them?”  
“Oh, they knew alright,” Sirius smiled bitterly, “I announced it quite loudly. I also took the silverware and a few old portraits. They deserve to have a few things taken away from them.”  
“Um,” Remus didn’t quite know what to say, “you’re not on the best of terms with your family, huh?”  
Sirius snorted. “To put it lightly,” he said, “sorry, I’m oversharing. Don’t mind me.”  
“It’s okay,” said Remus, “I’m sorry about your family.”  
“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault,” said Sirius with honesty.

They were quiet for a while and Remus wasn’t able to concentrate on the books anymore. Suddenly, he remembered what happened a few days ago, and he felt even more terrible about it.  
“I, er, I’m sorry about what I said. About motorcycles.”  
Sirius let out a laugh, “oh, that. You were so harsh.”  
“I didn’t mean it!” Remus practically squeaked.  
“It’s okay, don’t take it so seriously,” Sirius’ smile was a relief, “I’m just kidding. You’re right, of course, motorcycles are a deathtrap. I guess I’m just fearless.”  
“Being fearless is not a good thing,” Remus commented, “we need fear. Fear prevents us from doing stupid, dangerous things.”  
“I happen to love stupid, dangerous things.”

They looked at each other silently for a few seconds too long.  
“I’ll just take these books then,” Remus held up the five books he picked from the pile, “thank you for the offer, it’s very kind of you.”  
“The pleasure is mine,” said Sirius as he got up to walk Remus out of the apartment, “if you ever need more of these, my family has an entire library I’d be happy to rob for you.”  
Remus winced a little at the bitterness in Sirius’ voice, but he knew that it was supposed to be a compliment. “Well, I’m grateful for that.”

They said goodbye, and when the door closed behind Remus, he sighed. He immediately knew that there were a thousand more things he could say. It was the perfect opportunity for him to get to know Sirius. He could even ask him out. But no, he was such a coward.  
Before falling asleep that night, Remus ran quite a few scenarios through his head of every possible way that encounter could end up better. He thought about all of the things he could say, and all of the ways Sirius could react, and knowing that what he did in reality wasn’t even close to being enough was agonizing.

* * *

If he wasn’t completely obsessed with Sirius before, now he definitely was. Remus kept wondering what was the story with Sirius’ family. He thought a lot about the apartment, and the books, and how melancholy Sirius looked sitting there on the sofa, all alone. He wanted to talk to him more than ever before, except he could never bring himself to say anything useful. Whenever Sirius initiated a conversation, he could barely focus on the topic since he was so nervous.

One day, as he entered the building, he caught just a glimpse of Sirius before he got into the lift. It was frustrating to think that if only he came in a few moments earlier, he could talk to him. But when the lift came back down, Remus found something on the floor. It was a wallet. He wondered whether it could belong to Sirius, so he picked it up and looked inside. Sure enough, he found Sirius’ ID. There was also a small photograph of Sirius laughing with two other guys – one of them with messy black hair and stylish glasses, the other with blond hair and chubby cheeks. Remus got out of the lift on Sirius’ floor and was about to knock on his door, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He decided to come back later.

For hours he tried to distract himself from the thought of bringing back the wallet to Sirius, and it was a relief when Lily finally rang his doorbell. He told her what happened, which seemed rather silly now that he said it out loud.  
“I don’t understand,” Lily frowned, “why does it scare you so much to knock on his door? You’re just going to return his wallet, it’s not that bad.”  
“Easy for you to say!”

A few minutes of discussion later, Lily practically dragged him into the lift with the wallet in her hand.  
They stood in front of Sirius’ door and she looked at him pointedly until he finally knocked on it.  
A smiling Sirius Black opened it, looking a bit taken aback by the sight of Remus and Lily standing there.

“You’re not the delivery guy,” Sirius noted.  
“Um, no,” said Remus, “but I’m here to deliver something. I believe this is yours?”  
“Oh!” Sirius took his wallet, “it can’t be! How did I not notice that I lost it? Yes, definitely mine. Where did you find it?”  
“Er – the lift,” said Remus, “you probably dropped it. This is my friend by the way, Lily.”  
Lily replied with a slight wave of her hand. Just then another guy appeared at Sirius’ side, and he recognized him as the dark haired man from the picture in the wallet.

“What’s taking so long? Oh, this isn’t the delivery guy,” he said upon seeing Remus.  
“No, James, this is my neighbor,” Sirius explained.  
“Is it _Remus_?” James asked, which was quite shocking to Remus. How did he know his name? Did Sirius discuss him with his friends?  
Sirius looked at his friend sternly, as if he just gave away a terrible secret.  
“So we should probably go,” said Remus.  
“Nonsense, you have to stay!” said Sirius’ friend, “we ordered some pizza, there’ll be enough for everyone. Wait, who is _that_?” James set his eyes on Lily, who looked him up and down a little skeptically.

“That’s Remus’ friend, Lily,” Sirius said quietly, “and we’re not going to make them uncomfortable by insisting. Right, James?”  
But James didn’t seem to listen anymore. His attention was solely devoted to Lily.  
“I’m James,” he said, pushing Sirius aside and outstretching his hand, “James Potter. Sirius’ friends are my friends too, and I feel obligated to invite you inside.”  
“This isn’t your apartment,” Lily noted.  
“Yes, thank you,” Sirius added.  
“Sirius doesn’t mind. Come on in, do you like red wine?” he practically pulled Lily in by the wrist, and Remus had to follow her to make sure nothing bad happened to his friend.

“Is he… You know, a decent person?” Remus asked Sirius quietly, “I mean I know he’s your friend, but… I’m really protective of her.”  
Sirius gave him a knowing smile. “If he does anything to upset her, I’ll be the first one to kick him out, alright?”  
Remus decided to trust him, although he kept watching James and Lily very carefully.  
Sirius introduced him to his other friend, Peter, who was the second guy from the photograph. When Sirius told his friend “this it Remus,” Peter looked at him a little too intensely, saying “oh, it’s good to finally _see_ him.”

Now there was no way to deny it – Sirius was telling his friends about him. Remus could only guess what horrors he told them, they probably knew about every embarrassing thing he’d ever done. This was terrible.  
But Peter seemed to be rather nice, and Remus soon forgot that they all probably knew about his many weird incidents. Peter talked a lot about food, and Remus was quite fascinated by his opinions.

“And oh, you’ve been to Amelia’s Corner, right? Sirius told me he saw you there the other day.”  
Remus turned to look at Sirius, who immediately shot Peter an accusing look.  
“You did?” Remus raised his eyebrows at him.  
“Yes,” Sirius admitted, “you were there with Lily. I was just coming in to meet someone… I dated someone who works there.”  
“Oh? One of the waitresses?”  
“Um, not exactly,” Sirius smiled.  
“One of the _waiters,_ ” Peter explained, “Sirius is a little more into blokes lately. So anyway, did you try the onion soup there? Because this is exactly what I’m talking about – “ Peter kept talking about food, but the only thought that occupied Remus’ mind was "SIRIUS ISN’T STRAIGHT".

Sirius watched his reaction closely, so he had to keep a straight face and pretend to be fascinated by Peter’s reviews of certain restaurants. James then opened another bottle of wine and started to refill everyone’s glasses, and when it came to Remus’ glass – it slipped from his hand and spilled all over Remus’ plaid shirt, leaving a deep red stain.  
“Great way to make an impression, James,” said Sirius with disapproval.  
“So sorry,” said James, “I got a little too excited.”  
“Come with me, I’ll find you something else to wear,” said Sirius to Remus as he pulled him by the wrist.

Remus was about to protest – he literally lived two floors away, he could easily go back to his apartment and change. But faced with the opportunity to see Sirius’ bedroom and wear his clothes, he decided to keep his mouth shut. They walked into the room and Sirius began looking through his closet, while Remus stared at the king-sized bed, imagining Sirius sleeping in it. Naked.  
“Do you think this one will be okay?” Sirius asked, yanking Remus out of his daydream.  
“Huh?” he looked up at the T-shirt Sirius was handing to him. It was a Nirvana T-shirt. “Oh,” he said, “I mean, it’s not exactly my style, but I guess it’ll do for now.”

He unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, very aware of Sirius’ stare on his body. He didn’t comment on it, but he pulled on the shirt as fast as he could, since he really didn’t want Sirius to think too much about his rather unimpressive torso.  
“Well?” he asked, smoothing the fabric over his chest, “how do I look?”  
Sirius briefly bit down on his lip before he answered. “Hot.”  
He then seemed to realize what he had said, and he looked at Remus with alarm. “I mean, good. You look good. There’s a mirror in the bathroom, if you want to have a look.”

Remus followed Sirius to the bathroom, his wine-stained shirt still in his hand. He looked at himself in the mirror, a little surprised. He _did_ look hot in that shirt. It was so unlike everything else he used to wear, it was so much more fit for Sirius, and it made him look rather attractive. He tugged at the bottom of the shirt, where it was a bit too loose.  
“It’s a little big,” he commented, “it obviously looks better on someone with a more impressive body.” He looked to his left, giving Sirius a look that clearly said ‘ _like your body, for example.’  
_ Sirius let out a small laugh. “Your body’s fine,” he said, “you should cut yourself some slack. Why are you always so hard on yourself?”

The question surprised Remus – how would he know that? They barely ever talked to each other. “How can you judge me?” he ended up asking.  
“I’m not judging,” Sirius shrugged, “I’m just… Observant. Do you know how many times I heard you murmur ‘idiot’ to yourself under your breath?”  
“Well, I probably deserved it,” said Remus, his cheeks a violent red.  
Sirius sighed softly. “I don’t think so. You’re just attacking yourself for no reason.”

They looked at each other for a long moment in silence. Remus couldn’t think of anything to say, so he just gestured at the door. “We should probably get back,” he said.  
“Umm, I wanted to ask you,” Sirius lingered, “are you and Lily… Well, are you involved?”  
Remus raised his eyebrows, rather amused by the question. “Do you think I’d bring my girlfriend in here, and then just silently watch James Potter aggressively flirt with her for hours?”  
“I don’t know,” Sirius shrugged, “there are all kinds of relationships. I just wanted to make sure. For James, of course.”  
Remus looked at him for a long moment. “We’re just friends,” he said at last, “nothing more. Besides, she’s not really my type.”  
“Oh?” Sirius seemed intrigued.  
“I mean she’s perfect,” Remus explained, “she’s smart, and kind, and funny… But she's not a man.”  
“ _Oh_ ,” said Sirius, now getting the hint, “so you’re not into gals at all?”  
“Not at all.”  
“I see,” said Sirius, “you know, I almost thought you were homophobic back then. When Peter said that I dated the waiter.”  
“Why would you think that?”  
“Your facial expression. You seemed shocked.”  
“Well, I’m not going to lie,” Remus sighed, “I definitely expected you to be straight.”  
“Why’s that?”

Remus wanted to say that this is just how his luck goes – nothing ever turns out to be his way. Although in a sense, the fact that Sirius wasn’t straight made it worse. It meant that he had a chance, perhaps, but he completely blew it with all of his clumsy disasters and weirdness.  
“I don’t know,” he said at last, “I guess I just always assume that people are straight at first. I’m part of the problem. I contribute to heteronormativity.”  
Sirius chuckled lightly. “Well, I assumed the same about you,” he said, “I only asked about Lily because I wanted to find out. It’s pretty clear there’s nothing between you.”

Remus smiled a little. “Well, now you know. Anything else before we go back?”  
Sirius muttered something, but Remus couldn’t understand any of it. “What?” He asked.  
“Fuck,” Sirius let out with frustration. He then took one step forward and kissed Remus fully on the lips. There was only one moment of shock for Remus before he melted into the kiss, letting Sirius press their bodies closer and run his hands over Remus’ back. All of his worries disappeared then. He didn't feel the terrible anxiety that constantly filled him with dread. His mind stopped frantically thinking about every possible worst case scenario. Everything stopped. There was only Sirius.

Sirius seemed to be encouraged by the fact that Remus was kissing him back, because he deepened the kiss and pushed Remus against the sink and grabbed a fistful of Remus’ shirt – his shirt – which made Remus more aroused than he was willing to admit.

Remus’ fingers sneaked under the edge of Sirius’ shirt, touching the bare skin beneath it. He was expecting to feel some rock hard abs, and he wasn’t disappointed. Soon enough his hands were fully roaming all over Sirius’ torso, and he pulled the shirt over Sirius’ head and tossed it aside. He could now see Sirius' perfectly sculpted body, which almost brought a gasp to his lips. Strangely enough, his eyes were more drawn to the tattoo on Sirius' neck - he could now see that it was larger than he expected, extending to his shoulder and a little further down. It consisted of a few parts - Remus recognized a wolf howling at the full moon and some stars. He didn't get to inspect it closely, however, because he noticed Sirius' face then. He looked hesitant, biting down on his bottom lip.

“Is everything okay?” Remus asked, his worries suddenly reappearing.  
“I’m just – we should probably lock the door. I mean, if we’re – if you want to...” Sirius didn’t seem to be able to finish the thought, but Remus finished it for him. He nodded quickly and reassuringly.  
“Yes, definitely, let’s do that,” he said breathlessly. Sirius smiled brightly and turned the key in the lock. Then he slammed his mouth into Remus’ again, kissing him with even more passion than before. Their breaths were loud and their hands were desperate. Remus was about to take off his own shirt, but Sirius’ hand stopped him. “Wait,” he said, “keep it on. It’s _so hot_.”

Remus let out a laugh, but he let go of his shirt. It was better that way – he didn’t have to be too self conscious about his body. As Sirius’ lips returned to Remus’, his fingers undid the button on his jeans. Remus let out a tiny sigh, his body heating rapidly with excitement.

Sirius’ hand, hesitant for just one moment at the edge of his boxers, slipped inside at last to find Remus’ erection. Remus gasped at that, his anticipation of that moment made it so much sweeter. As Sirius’ hand slowly got a feel of Remus’ cock, his own hands traveled all over Sirius’ body. From his strong shoulders to his muscular back, from there to his waist, his hips, his thighs… He slipped one hand into the back of Sirius’ jeans to grab his arse, finally getting the chance to put his hands on the part of Sirius’ body he fantasized about the most.

Sirius let out a quiet moan into his mouth, their kiss was now very distracted and not well coordinated. As Sirius finally started stroking Remus’ cock at a steady pace, Remus could feel a clothed erection rubbing against his thigh, and that alone was more arousing than anything he felt in years.  
With a sudden urge to free Sirius’ erection, he unzipped his jeans with shaking fingers, barely able to control his movements properly since Sirius’ pace was getting quicker and way too distracting.

Finally, he pulled Sirius’ jeans down just enough for him to fish out his cock. Sirius reacted by leaning his forehead against Remus’ shoulder, focusing on the movement of his hand and breathing against Remus’ neck.

All of this was far too hot, and Remus was close to his climax a lot sooner than he expected. But then Sirius lifted his head just enough for his lips to brush against Remus’ ear, and he whispered “I want to fuck you.” The words were uttered with so much lust that Remus had to respond with what vaguely sounded like “yes please,” though it was hard to tell with how breathy it was.

Sirius’ hands left Remus’ pants, which was painfully frustrating. Remus watched as he opened a cabinet behind him and grabbed the box of condoms. Meanwhile, he made sure to take off his jeans and his boxers completely, tossing them aside. When he looked back at Sirius, he was already slipping a condom onto his cock, his own jeans and boxers pulled down to his knees. He then reached for the lube, and Remus barely had the chance to take in the beautiful sight of the mostly naked Sirius in front of him before he was spun around and pinned to the sink.

A shiver went down his spine when he felt a cold, well lubed finger circle his entrance. He closed his eyes, concentrating on Sirius’ fingers inside of him, his breaths getting heavier as Sirius added another finger. This was far from a new sensation for him, but he was still surprised at how intense and immediate the pleasure was. Sirius hit all of the right spots and moved as if he could read Remus' thoughts, causing him to feel a little weak in the knees. His whole body felt too hot and his breathing was quick heavy. He tried to concentrate on staying quiet, knowing that their friends were still seated in the living room. Then Sirius removed his fingers and pressed their bodies together, and Remus had to grab the sink as he felt Sirius’ hard cock pushing into him.

He let out a moan and Sirius’ hands grabbed him hard by the hips. He could barely control the noises that came out of his mouth as his handsome neighbor started thrusting forward slowly yet thoroughly, pushing his entire length into Remus. He wasn’t usually vocal in bed, which was probably since he wasn’t very lucky with his sex partners. This, however, was phenomenal to him. _Sirius must be some kind of a sex god,_ he decided, because with every thrust he hit just the right angle, and as the rhythm changed, so did Remus’ heartbeat. He gasped, moaned and swore, he arched his back and he gripped Sirius by whatever body part he was able to reach.

Sirius began to speed up then, grasping him so hard he thought there will probably be bruises on his skin afterwards. Sirius whispered to him between breaths to let him know that he was close. Remus was thankful for that, since he could barely control his own rapidly approaching orgasm. He ended up coming first, loudly, his fingers turning white from gripping the sink so fiercely. He shuddered violently, his whole body felt like it was melting as he slowly came down from the high of his orgasm. Standing suddenly felt like a very difficult task, but Sirius was still holding him up as he kept thrusting into him. It only took him a few more thrusts to come as well, his fingernails digging into Remus' skin and his forehead resting against his back.

“Fuck,” Remus whispered as he practically collapsed against the sink. He breathed heavily for a few moments, waiting for his heartbeat to go back to normal. When he finally turned around, Sirius was already pulling up his jeans. He looked at Remus with a satisfied smile.

“Okay, that was…”  
“Fantastic,” Sirius cut him off, “absolutely fantastic. Ten out of ten, would recommend.”  
Remus let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah,” he said, “I didn’t… I didn’t expect that to happen, exactly. But I regret nothing.” He picked up his clothes and started pulling them on.  
Then there was a knock on the door.  
“Are you guys all done in there?” it was James’ voice, “don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that you hit it off and everything, but Peter really needs to use the loo and he’s too embarrassed to ask.”  
“Just one minute!” Sirius called back. He looked at Remus, his expression rather amused. Remus, however, was completely red now.  
“How did they know?” he whispered as he pulled on his jeans.  
“Well, you weren’t exactly discreet," Sirius chuckled, "personally, I think it was HOT, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire building heard that.”  
The red shade of Remus’ face deepened.  
“Was I really that loud?” he asked.  
“Yes, yes you were,” it was James’ voice from the other side of the door, “and you guys better get the fuck out of there, unless Sirius wants Peter to use his kitchen sink as his toilet.”

Remus grabbed his wine-stained shirt just before Sirius opened the door and Peter walked in looking almost as red as Remus, avoiding their eyes.  
The evening ended with all of them getting drunk, with Lily pretty much giving in to James’ charm but not letting him kiss her, with Remus mostly burying his face in the crook of Sirius’ neck, and with Peter prank calling his ex girlfriend on a dare. Lily and Remus barely got back to his apartment by the end of the night, but they were both content and happy.

The next day, it all felt like a dream. After Lily had left and Remus drank more coffee than was probably wise to drink at once, he thought about going down to talk to Sirius. He really wanted to see him, to talk to him, to sort things out. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He dreaded the thought that perhaps this was just a casual thing for Sirius, that he wouldn’t want to see him again so soon, or that he might regret what happened.

Sirius’ Nirvana shirt was carefully folded and placed on Remus’ bed, where he stared at it as if expecting to hear words of encouragement from it. It didn’t help at all.  
Finally, when the sun came down and he was too anxious to miss the opportunity, he decided to do it. Just as the decision was made, there was a knock on his door.  
He was only a little surprised to see Sirius standing there. “How did you know that this is my apartment?” he asked after a brief, shy greeting, “I never told you.”

“Some trial and error was involved,” Sirius admitted, “I am now closely familiar with Mrs. Scott and her seven cats. Also, Bald Al isn’t a very nice person. I should probably avoid his company for a while, pretty sure he just threatened my life…”  
“He’s just a little grumpy,” Remus waved a dismissive hand at him, “but he’s a sweetheart. Always baking something, he makes great muffins.”  
They fell silent for a moment, both looking away shyly.

“So…” the silence was way too awkward for Remus, “you came for your shirt, I assume?”  
“No way,” Sirius shook his head, “you’re keeping it. It looks too damn good on you.”  
Remus smiled a little. “Oh,” he said, “then why… Why are you here?”  
Sirius seemed uncharacteristically nervous at that. “I… I feel like maybe we didn’t talk enough. Last night.”  
“Yes, there was very little talking involved,” Remus agreed, “would you like to come in?”

He opened the door wider for Sirius and immediately was very much aware of every imperfection inside his apartment. There were some dishes in the sink, and an old blanket on the couch, and for the love of God – why was there A BRA just lying on the floor by the couch? Lily was _so_ going to pay for this.  
Remus kicked the bra under the couch as Sirius looked around the room, trying to act natural.  
“So I bet you noticed that I’ve been a little… Obsessed with you,” Sirius started.  
“You have?” Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise.

Sirius turned to look at him, puzzled. “Well, yes,” he said, “obviously. I come back from work an hour before you do, but I sort of stand by my motorcycle for an hour every time just to come in with you and get a chance to talk to you. I thought you noticed that? Isn’t that why you seemed so hot and bothered every time you noticed me coming in after you?”  
Remus couldn’t find the right words to say, so he just stared. Of course, the reason why he was so hot and bothered every time he saw Sirius was just because it was _Sirius_ , and he was so scared to fuck up again.

“Or when I was so desperate to talk to you that I started conversations about the most random, stupid things, like an idiot? Do you really think that I randomly ask people about their opinion on fake pockets? One time I literally just said ‘so Romania is in Europe, right?’ That’s it. Like there was no joke or point to it, or anything. I just said that, as if I don’t fucking know where Romania is.”

Remus thought about it, but every time Sirius spoke to him he was so nervous and excited that he usually blamed himself for not saying anything smart in response, he barely ever thought about whether the things Sirius said were logical in the first place.  
“Seriously? I’ve been acting like a complete idiot around you this whole time,” Sirius let out a small laugh that sounded rather nervous, “and then my idiot friends decided to also mention that I talk to them about you nonstop, thank you very much, so helpful. Honestly, I was surprised you… I was surprised you seemed to be interested in me at all. I’m a mess.”

Remus wanted to laugh for eight years. For so long he was worried about being a walking disaster around Sirius Black. And here he was, standing in his living room, confessing how much of a mess he was because of him.  
Unable to control his urge any longer, Remus stepped forward and pulled Sirius into a sweet, affectionate kiss. He ran his fingers through Sirius’ hair softly as he kissed him, and he was practically grinning the whole time. When he finally pulled back, Sirius was also smiling, though he looked a bit confused.

“What was that for?” he asked.  
“I was a fucking mess,” said Remus, “the first impression you got of me was me being a huge nerd, unable to open a bloody door. You saw me with food spilled on my clothes so many times, you saw me tripping and falling flat on my face, you heard me talk to myself at least on four different occasions. On one of those occasions I literally went ‘Remus, more like Re _MESSY_ _LITTLE SHIT’_. And then I actually laughed at my own stupid pun, and then I said ‘it’s not funny’. I’m not even going to MENTION the incident with Lindsey from the second floor.”  
“Wow, that was embarrassing,” said Sirius.  
“I said I’m not going to mention it.”  
“You grabbed her boob.”  
“We’re not discussing it.”  
“Like, you full on squeezed it as you fell, thank God you didn’t rip it off.”  
“Shut the fuck up.”

Sirius bit on his lip with the most ridiculously sexy smile in the history of mankind. “Make me,” he said, his voice low and seductive.  
Naturally, this led to some very hot sex on the couch, during which Sirius accidentally found Lily’s bra, which they later laughed about a lot.

They figured it out. Remus found out that Sirius barely even noticed any of the things that caused him so much distress – all he ever saw was a cute boy being adorable. And so Remus wasn’t nervous anymore every time he met Sirius at the entrance to the building.  
And the disasters stopped being disasters, because as long as Remus had his boyfriend, he couldn't care less about how clumsy or ridiculous he looked.


End file.
